Relational Psychotherapy

BECAUSE WE’RE WIRED TO CONNECT

Attachment is a biological imperative. As mammals, connection is not a ‘nice to have,’ it’s survival. A lone wolf is a sick wolf. We need each other, which is why acceptance and belonging are among our most basic needs.

We are formed in and through our connections, and we heal in and are transformed by our connections.

Relational psychotherapy is rooted in psychodynamics, attachment theory, object-relations theory and the principles of human development. Understanding that our behavioural patterns, personality, and identity are developed and shaped by early experiences, relational psychotherapy brings to light the implicit memories and unconscious processes from the past that are influencing the present. 

Relational psychotherapy honours that the therapeutic relationship is the container in which all healing occurs and emphasizes the role of an accepting, non-judgmental connection as the foundation for all deep work. Relational psychotherapy is of tremendous use in deepening self awareness, uncovering the unconscious roots of our mental and emotional distress, and alleviating self conscious emotions such as shame and self blame.

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Conversations with Clients: Invisible Traumas
Conversations with Clients: Invisible Traumas

The first conversation I have with every single client. Why? Because trauma isn’t what a lot of people think it is. And that can lead to invisible traumas - traumas that are left unseen, unacknowledged and untreated.

Deep Dive: EMDR, A Primer for Patients
Deep Dive: EMDR, A Primer for Patients

Imagine our brain as a room with one giant filing cabinet in the centre of it. The filing cabinet is made up of many drawers (representing memory networks), which are filled with many files (representing brain cells). At birth, most of these files are strewn about the room haphazardly, with relatively few being stored in the filing cabinet. During the course of our life, the files in the room are gradually organized into drawers of the filing cabinet.

Stress: The Great Drain on Our Health Account
Stress: The Great Drain on Our Health Account

Our body has two basic operating systems; the “fight or flight” system and the “rest and digest” system.  Both of these systems are vital and we need them both, but we need them in the right balance. And unfortunately, as a society, we are drastically out of balance. Our bodies were never meant to be exposed to a sustained stress response, which is why chronic stress is implicated in obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, autoimmune disease and countless others. 

Deep Dive: Implicit Memories & Our Brain's Automation System
Deep Dive: Implicit Memories & Our Brain's Automation System

Implicit memory governs much of our behaviour. Such memories are like unconscious mental software packages - they quickly compare present events to past experiences, make assessments and predictions about the current situation, and initiate the appropriate reaction. And while for the most part, this is very adaptive, it comes at a cost. 

Shorts: The Window of Tolerance
Shorts: The Window of Tolerance

What makes something traumatic for one person and mildly disturbing for another? Why does the idea of public speaking leave one person exhilarated and another paralyzed with panic? Our nervous system has an ideal climate; a Goldilocks zone in which it operates best. This zone is called the Window of Tolerance, and where we are in relation to it has tremendous impacts on our mood, emotional state, and mental capacity.

The T Word
The T Word

In the realm of mental health, the word “trauma” can invoke a lot of different ideas and associations. There tends to be a general consensus around what is sometime referred to as “Big T” trauma, while there is somewhat less agreement in the realm of “small t” trauma. The difficulty with categorization provides a clue as to how the premise of the question might be flawed.